


Don't Drink Kids - A very stupid Eddsworld fic

by Cyan_Sky1



Category: Eddsworld
Genre: Alcohol, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Drunkenness, Gay, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, This Is STUPID, Tom's a drinking pro he doesn't need this shit, Tord and Matt drank before this but they're still bad a handling it, Welp this happened, alcohol use, edds the youngest by a few weeks pfft, i think things went well, this is supposed to be Edd's first time consuming alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 07:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10589589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyan_Sky1/pseuds/Cyan_Sky1
Summary: Four gay shits.A pack of beer.One green boi's birthday.You do the math.(Plus a sober and done with life blue boi and Norwegian speaking red boi and a fourth wall breaking purple boi.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am very proud that this is the first fanfiction I am putting on this account.

"No you're an i-idiot!" Edd stumbled forward as he pointed his right index finger right in Tom's face, Tom only looking at him straight faced and unaffected.  
"I said you had too much to drink. And the fact that you just responded with that pathetic insult proved it. Now give me the bottle before you face plant onto the fucking floor."  
"You wanna fffffucking GO?" Edd dropped the half empty bottle of vodka he had in his left hand and it smashed onto the floor, lazily lifting his now free hands and clenching them into fists.

Tom saw the nausea and dizziness written all over Edd's face, and moved away just in time before Edd tried to swing a slow punch at Tom and face planted onto the floor with a loud thunk.

"I told your ass that was gonna happen." Tom sighed and turned to Tord who was staring blankly at the wall in front of him.  
"Tord, can you help me get Edd up?" Tord turned around and gave Tom the most shit-eating grin he has ever seen.  
"Veggen er et helvete belastning mer interessant enn Edd drikking problem akkurat nå. Hva er denne dritten laget av uansett...?" Tord's heavily slurred voice seemed to only know how to speak Norwegian at the moment, reminding Tom that he was currently the only sober one in the house.

Wait. There's supposed to be four of them. Where the hell is-?

"FUCK BITCHES GET MOONEEEEEEEY!" Matt proceeded to slide down the staircases' banister and crash right on top of Edd who was still blacked out on the floor. Tom was not amused.  
"Where the hell were you?!"  
"Yous' can shiz on my cumputerr aaaaanytime..." Matt slowly lifted up his head to wink at Tom, which for some reason triggered Tord.  
"BITCH AT DRITT HODET ER MIN UANSETT HVORDAN EDRU HAN ER!"  
"NONSENSE Tord, Tom is 'fer alllllls of uuuus." Wait. Matt doesn't know Norwegian. How the hell did he know what Tord said-?  
"SHUT DA FUK UP NARRAT'ER!" 

Matt just yelled at me. How can he hear me? What the fuck is going on right now I'm currently writing a fucking fanfiction where drunk Matt can hear me write his words Tord is a drunk Norwegian Edd is blacked out face planted on the floor and Tom is just fucking done with life and is actually sober for once holy shit what is happening right now WHAT THE FUCK AM I WRITING-

"STHAP! JUS' STHAP HAVIN' A PANIC ATTACK-"  
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO???" Tom yelled at Matt.  
"HVORFOR ER ALLE ROPING???" Tord also yelled.  
"EVERYONE SHUT DA FUK UP I'M TRYENZ TA SLEP." Edd awakened and slapped his hand over Matt's mouth.

Matts' eyes shined with a devious look as he licked Edd's hand, making the green hoodie man squeal like a little girl. This reminded Tord of his hentai which gave him an idea.

"Hei folkens Jeg har en idé la oss knulle Tom." Tom turned to Tord when he heard his name on the last part of that sentence, scanning Tord's face for any hint of what the commie just said. But all he could see is that wide ass grin.  
"GRAND idea Tord! Hey Edd, do ya wannas fuck Tom?"  
"Jeg bokstavelig talt bare sa at."  
"I know y'jus said dat, Tord bu Edd don't has magical powers like I do when I'mmm drunk."  
"Ey', I am NHAT drunk!"  
"Sur' y'not, pal." Matt patted Edd's head a few times before standing up and pointing at Tom.  
"Tom! We're gonna fuck ya!" Matt and Tom might as well be straight out of an anime at that moment because Matt and Toms face was fucking priceless.  
"What?! No! None of you are getting anywhere near me like this!"  
"Jeg sier vi får Tom beruset. Da kan vi knulle ham."  
"Well I dunno what Turd said bu' I think whe shu' get Tommee drunk so we can fuk 'em."  
"Ok dere trenger å lære jævla norske dette blir latterlig..."  
"Oh calm down Tord. LET'Z GET MOAR DRINKIES FOR TOMMEE!!!" Matt threw his arms in the air and dashed into the kitchen, but his journey was stopped when he ran right into the wall and dropped down to the floor again. Tom face palmed himself and turned to Edd and Tord.  
"Ok, if you guys were trying to be seductive and subtle to get what you want, you all failed terribly. No go to bed, all of you!" Tom attempted to shoo everyone upstairs like a mother, but Tord wasn't havin' it.

"BITCH DU'RE KOMMER TIL Å GI MEG SOM ASS!"

Long story short Tord fucked Tom right there on the living room floor and the gang slept there for the night.

DA END


End file.
